This essay was submitted by Aleck Sun, a student in the Physician Assistant Program at Barry University in Miami.
No matter how many times I try to replicate the stir-fry green beans (干炒四季豆) and tomato-egg stir
fry (番茄炒蛋), it never tastes the same as my parents’ cooking.
Since I have moved to Florida for graduate school, I’ve been craving delicious Chinese food, but it has
been difficult to find a decent Chinese restaurant in Miami. My only option is to recreate these childhood dishes myself. Even though my parents approve of my weekly meal prep photos, I know it does not compare to their food. This is just one of the challenges I struggle with as a Chinese American.
Growing up I have been reminded multiple times of my parents’ sacrifice: immigrating from China to the United States to establish a better life for me and my siblings. As a result, I always felt pressured to get good grades in school. Even in elementary school, I knew my coordination and balance weren’t great from my previous medical history. Sports wasn’t an option for me, so I figured that if I can’t take the athletic route, I’d take the academic route. This motivated me to work even harder, with the hope that
I’d be good at something to make my parents proud.
Facing Stereotypes
As a Chinese American, I’ve heard all the stereotypes of being good at math, being smart, and practicing piano. I tried to mold myself into these stereotypes to bring out my best. From elementary to high school, I already knew that I preferred math and sciences over literature and history, but that was my Chinese instinct rather than a struggle.
My real struggle came from weekly piano lessons from 4 th to 11th grade. My parents pushed my siblings and me to be well-rounded by enrolling us in piano lessons. At first it was fun, learning songs and how to read music. However, in middle and high school, the academic rigor intensified, so I had less time to practice piano, which affected my performances. This also affected
my motivation to practice, which created a feedback loop that caused me to avoid piano practice. While I was worried that I was not fulfilling my role as a perfect Chinese son, I still maintained strong academics that held together what I saw as my Chinese-American identity.
Speaking Spanish
One struggle of being a Chinese American was that people expected fluency and competency in the Chinese language. When I started 7 th grade, I enrolled in a Spanish elective to learn another useful language. I thought to myself, “I’ll end up being better at Spanish than Chinese, which is no bueno (not good).”
I spoke fluent Cantonese at home, but I did not know how to read or write in Chinese. Because of this, I willingly enrolled in Chinese school in Chinatown. Attending Chinese school in 7 th grade was easy, since I was a lot older than the other kids. I even got to help some of the kids who were struggling. I really enjoyed Chinese school because I connected with my Chinese heritage a little more. While breezing through Chinese school up until my first year of college, I realized that I sacrificed a lot of free time balancing academics, extracurriculars, church, and Chinese school. This ultimately meant that I sacrificed hobbies and spending time with friends.
Careful Budgeting
My parents immigrated from China, and both worked hard to raise me and my siblings. They had to endure long working days, only to make minimum wage while supporting us. Nonetheless, they always provided whatever we needed without hesitation.
The one caveat was that they discouraged us from spending money frivolously and always criticized us when fast food snacks or special outings with friends were expensive. Because my family meant a lot to me, I tried hard to not spend extra money.
This ranged from avoiding snacks before dinner, not buying food when I’m hanging out with friends, and even turning friends down because the activities they wanted to do were too expensive. As a result, I missed out on opportunities for building friendships, exploring hobbies/interests, and learning more about what my community has to offer.
As I reflect on my upbringing as a Chinese American, I realize that my struggles stemmed from one concept: the desire to be a perfect son. My striving for perfection in the academic world has limited my exploration of the community around me. My desire to spend as little as I can hindered the development of relationships and my own interests. However, I don’t regret any of the struggles I experienced as the child of Chinese immigrant parents. Because of my parents, I have learned to appreciate everything I have. I’ve learned to embrace my identity as a Chinese American, by finding ways to incorporate my culture into my Miami journey.
This includes translating some medical notes in Chinese for better communication and speaking Chinese whenever possible in public. I am making an extra effort to seek out Chinese restaurants to be reminded of my Chinese culture. Lastly, little by little, I am working on improving my understanding of the world, and myself, through exploration and through my interests and hobbies. Even though I have not experienced what I regard as the external challenges of being a Chinese American, the internal struggle as a Chinese American has shaped me into who I am, which I genuinely appreciate.
Aleck Sun is the grandson of Fu Yu Huang (黄福裕) . His interests include Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, penpalling, anime, arcades, rhythm games, and Harry Potter.
