This article was submitted by Joshua Tam, a student at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland, Ohio. Joshua is majoring in aerospace and mechanical engineering. He is the grandson of Margie Tam. His interests include playing clarinet/piano, skiing, and tutoring.
You always hear that this is a small world, that if you go back far enough many of us are connected even if my family name is Tam and hers is Starr. This is the true story of how I discovered that one of my friends from high school is a distant relative and whose ancestors are also from the Gom Benn Village.
Let’s go back to 1882. President Chester Arthur signed the Chinese Exclusion Act, which barred the immigration of Chinese laborers for 10 years – which was then extended effectively until the end of World War II. The only exceptions were for Chinese diplomats, teachers, students, merchants and travelers. To escape poverty, in search of freedom and a better life, Chinese families found a way to illegally migrate to the United States. This required families to collect their savings and buy fake documentation that showed they were the “sons” of a Chinese-American merchant. This would allow them to come to America. These immigrants are known as paper sons and daughters.
So my story begins with my great-grandfather, Bing Tew Wong, who was born in 1914. When he grew up, he married my great-grandmother Boy Jin, and she gave birth to my grandmother Margie. A short time later, Bing Tew left Gom Benn for America. There was little choice. Gom Benn families were extremely poor, few of their babies lived past infancy. Bing Tew’s uncles were adopted. Margie was the first of the baby girls to survive in more than a generation. For the family to thrive, Bing Tew had to leave.
In 1935, Bing Tew went to America as the paper son of Chun Sing Wong AKA Toy Wing Wong. Chun Sing’s grandfather and Bing Tew’s great-grandfather were brothers. Chun Sing Wong operated the Sam Sing meat market in Los Angeles on Spring Street (where Jack Nicholson starred in the movie Chinatown). A couple years later, Bing Tew took Chun Sing’s nephew, Hen You Wong (Henry Wong), as a paper son to return the favor.
In 1947, Bing Tew brought his wife to America. A few years later they brought their daughter Margie to America. For a couple years, Henry lived with his paper parents and siblings. During their teenage years, Margie and Henry went to school together in Riverside, Calif. Margie remembers that Henry used to ditch class and took her to see a movie one time. Eventually, Henry moved to live with his real father in Los Angeles.
Several years later, Henry married Anna. Although they lived in distant cities, Henry still kept a close relationship with his paper family. On holidays, such as Chinese New Year and Easter, he used to help out at Bing Tew’s family business, The Great Wall Restaurant in West Covina. When Margie’s children (my father Anthony and aunt Daphne) were young, my grandmother used to pass on clothing they outgrew to Henry and Anna’s children, Gordon, Wanda and Wendy (or Winnie). When Bing Tew Wong passed away in 1984, Henry brought flowers from Anna’s shop to the memorial service. As the years passed, Margie and her husband Terry spoke occasionally over the phone with Henry and Anna. Eventually, my grandparents and Henry’s family lost touch.
Flash ahead to 2019. During my sophomore year at Calabasas High School, I became friends with Madison Starr through the music program and marching band. One day she told me that her younger brother, Logan, who was in 6th grade at the time, had begun to learn how to play the clarinet in school. Since I played the clarinet, I offered to give Logan music lessons. Madison’s family accepted, and so I went to their house for two hours a week to teach Logan how to play the clarinet.
This part-time job was fun, and I got to hang out with Madison and her four dogs. Over many weeks, I got to know her parents, Winnie and Robert, her younger sister, Paige, and their maternal grandmother who they all called “Gee-Gee” (pronounced like the letter ‘G’ twice).
In the summer of 2019, I was at the breakfast after my cousin Adam Wong’s wedding to Katie. I was chatting with my grandfather, Terry Tam, about my first job. He was curious, asking me questions including my student’s name. Something about the last name “Starr” rang a bell in Terry’s head. He asked me if it was spelled with one or two R’s. I replied two. At that moment he froze with astonishment. Somehow he knew, and remembered, that Henry and Anna’s daughter Winnie married a lawyer in Calabasas with the last name Starr. Once we confirmed that Logan and Madison’s mother’s name is Winnie, he knew for sure that we were related. I told all of the Starr’s the next day when we had our next clarinet lesson. They were really surprised – and I was as well!
It’s just amazing that I had accidentally become friends with the grandchildren of my great grandfather’s paper son! My great-grandfather’s great-grandfather was brothers with Madison’s great-grandfather’s grandfather from Gom Benn Village.
Anna, Madison’s grandmother, and Margie, my grandmother, were able to reconnect with each other at our high school graduation!
Small world.
Note: Madison is now a sophomore at UCLA studying music history and industry.
*Editor’s Note: In the initial version of this article, Chun San Wong (the owner/operator of Sam Sing butcher shop) was inadvertently listed incorrectly.
